Monday, 19 September 2011

Monza: Nightmare Passion Fish

Off to Monza. My original idea was to explore the racing circuit's famous banked curves, which are disused and derelict in a romantic way. Unfortunately - like a floppy-haired fool - I picked the same day as the 2011 Italian Grand Prix. The exact same time! The screaming engines grew louder as I approached. I assumed there was a track day; there was, but it was the biggie. Having missed the start I decided not to pay the entry fee, which was steeper than the banked curves themselves, and instead wandered around the park in search of somewhere to pee. I learned that Jenson Button in Italian is Jenson Bou-ton or something along those lines. I remember that it sounded different. I don't actually remember what it sounded like.

I wonder how they pronounce Michรจle Mouton? Mitchell Mutton, probably. I shouldn't keep saying they, I should say we.

Tip: Monza's park seems to be divided into two zones, separated by a wall, which has graffiti on it (enc). The larger, northern part is more open. The smaller, southern part is more closed and has more trees. Pee there. Or anywhere, really. Italians get drunk at home and pee in the street, which is the opposite of Britain, except that drunk British people often pee in the street too. Not as a result of rational calculation, but as a spontaneous expression. You can do anything when you're drunk.

The swan turned into a duck.